Ruts & For Granted

I, like anyone else at one point or another in his or her life, have taken something or someone for granted. And, like anyone else, I have felt horrible for doing so.

I'm a person who can quite easily fall into ruts. I don't mind being alone, sometimes it's easier than trying to fit in with the group. Folks who have known me for a long time tend to forget that I'm actually quite quiet and shy at the beginning...only later do I let go and talk, talk, talk. That ease with and willingness to be alone, often means I don't go out of my way to make time "with" my friends. Time "for" my friends isn't an issue. I think anyone who calls me a friend will say that when needed, I am there.

But, this is about the rut I'm digging myself, about me acknowledging that I need to get out of it and start working on that time "with". It's difficult to make the best use of your free time when you have so very much on your plate. But we all have very full plates, and we all manage our time the best we can. I just need to ensure that I manage to arrange more of my time as "with" friends time.

It doesn't have to be expensive. My real friends know that I'm starting a new business venture and that money's sometimes an issue. And it doesn't have to be "exciting" in the way that going out tended to be when we were younger. I enjoy a nice healthy meal and talking as much as a night out on the town. And it doesn't have to be "impressive". I'm no longer worried with how I appear to the "in" crowd. I never fit there and now I can honestly say I'm happy I didn't.

It does have to be important. I have to make it important. I have to make it a priority. And I have to be more spontaneous and just go with the flow, which is very hard for an anal-retentive, details before impulse, kind of person like me. But I know I can do it, and I know my real friends will hold me to making it important and a priority.